OCTOBER 9 REFLECTI

October 9. 13:43 HRS

I am presently at work, resting after a very heavy routine operation called grading (separating the big fowls from the small ones). I am waiting for my closing hour. However, while I wait, I’ve just thought of writing ‘something’ so that the time won’t look as if it isn’t moving at all.

To do this writing thing though, I must get my mind off the yabis and jests going on around me here. I’ll try do that as I let you into what’s on my mind today.

It’s been a torrid few weeks, a very difficult period for the better part of the year and a testing and trying period for the better part of one year. Emotions running high only to get suppressed, showing care, love and attention only to be rejected, getting told point blank in some regards that you are not wanted again, being told “I want out” to your face by the one you love and cherish. Now you know where I’m going.

In situations like that, everyone becomes an adviser. Worse still, those who don’t even have an idea of what love is about also giving you their own ‘piece of advise’. People who take ideas from you start blabbing and telling you what to do. It’s that bad. To make it badder than worse, the folks you tell and think they’ll give you a shoulder go gaga once told. Isn’t that kinda hellish?

I was chanced to spend some time with a friend, or better put a sister and confidant some days ago. While rubbing minds about life, we talked about our relationships and that really set the tone rolling. We discussed a lot about things in that regard. That was when our emotions almost got in the way of reason. She bared her mind and so did I.

That was when I really remembered the emotional challenges I’ve been facing for some time now, the emotional turmoil I’ve been coping with for quite some time.

You know things like not giving shit but having to take shit. Showing love but getting none, giving care but getting thrashed and a lot of the opposites that come with loving someone. My confidant discussed her problem and I also discussed mine. We shared our problems, our burdens, our secret disappointments, our hopes and dreams and thinkings, our calculations and the likes. I talked, she talked, we gisted as the time ticked away and crept into the early hours of the afternoon.

We’ve got similar problems but it’s just that while I have mine with my Eve of about 6 years, she has her with her Adam of a decade. From what we discussed, both would have wanted that perfect relationship, devoid of rancours, pains and shames.

That one in which your partner would appreciate everything you do, everything about you. That perfect relationship in which your partner would take you as you are, boast with your strength, see your weakness as her and work on them with you. Love you and you only. Enjoy the good times, face the challenges head long and similar things.

That will never be so anyway, everyone has a place where their shoe pinches. A proverb in my place translates as ‘all lizards crawl on their belly but we can’t know the one whose belly aches’. The perfect relationship can never ever be found here on earth, I’ve never been to heaven though so I can’t say if we’ll have any there.

So why all these you wanna ask me?it’s to tell you the problems you have in your relationship isn’t peculiar to you alone.E everyone has their own ‘stuff’ to cope with, I mean everyone, even the so-called model relationships. Don’t let that problem destroy you, I’m trying to overcome mine. As my mangled English-speaking brothers would say “no gree am destroy you”.

I should pack my bag and head homewards, it’s been a very hectic day.